{
  "schema": "tga.work.v1",
  "identifier": "dresden:vol-11:what-i-want-for-christmas",
  "slug": "what-i-want-for-christmas",
  "title": "What I Want for Christmas",
  "subtitle": "A Christmas essay.",
  "excerpt": "Ingersoll's Christmas wish-list — for all the children of the earth, not for himself.",
  "year": 1891,
  "volume": 11,
  "category": "Essay",
  "author": {
    "name": "Robert G. Ingersoll",
    "wikidata": "Q360326",
    "viaf": "44331023"
  },
  "isPartOf": {
    "title": "The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll",
    "edition": "Dresden Edition",
    "publisher": "C. P. Farrell",
    "year": 1900
  },
  "license": "https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/",
  "url": "https://thegreatagnostic.com/works/what-i-want-for-christmas/",
  "wordCount": 416,
  "body": "IF I had the power to produce exactly what I want for next Christmas,\nI would have all the kings and emperors resign and allow the people to\ngovern themselves.\n\nI would have all the nobility drop their titles and give their lands\nback to the people. I would have the Pope throw away his tiara, take off\nhis sacred vestments, and admit that he is not acting for God—is\nnot infallible—but is just an ordinary Italian. I would have all the\ncardinals, archbishops, bishops, priests and clergymen admit that they\nknow nothing about theology, nothing about hell or heaven, nothing about\nthe destiny of the human race, nothing about devils or ghosts, gods\nor angels. I would have them tell all their \"flocks\" to think for\nthemselves, to be manly men and womanly women, and to do all in their\npower to increase the sum of human happiness.\n\nI would have all the professors in colleges, all the teachers in schools\nof every kind, including those in Sunday schools, agree that they would\nteach only what they know, that they would not palm off guesses as\ndemonstrated truths.\n\nI would like to see all the politicians changed to statesmen,—to men\nwho long to make their country great and free,—to men who care more for\npublic good than private gain—men who long to be of use.\n\nI would like to see all the editors of papers and magazines agree to\nprint the truth and nothing but the truth, to avoid all slander and\nmisrepresentation, and to let the private affairs of the people alone.\n\nI would like to see drunkenness and prohibition both abolished.\n\nI would like to see corporal punishment done away with in every home, in\nevery school, in every asylum, reformatory, and prison. Cruelty hardens\nand degrades, kindness reforms and ennobles.\n\nI would like to see the millionaires unite and form a trust for the\npublic good.\n\nI would like to see a fair division of profits between capital and\nlabor, so that the toiler could save enough to mingle a little June with\nthe December of his life.\n\nI would like to see an international court established in which to\nsettle disputes between nations, so that armies could be disbanded and\nthe great navies allowed to rust and rot in perfect peace.\n\nI would like to see the whole world free—free from injustice—free from\nsuperstition.\n\nThis will do for next Christmas. The following Christmas, I may want\nmore.—The Arena, Boston, December, 1897.\n"
}