Thirteen Club Dinner
On the superstitions of public men.

by Robert G. Ingersoll
(1887)

From The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll (Dresden Edition, 1900–1902), Volume 12.
Source: https://thegreatagnostic.com/works/thirteen-club-dinner/
Public domain. CC0 / Public Domain Mark 1.0.

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Thirteen Club Dinner
  • Response of Col. R. G. Ingersoll to the sentiment "The
    Superstitions of Public Men," at the regular monthly dinner
    of the Thirteen Club. Monday evening, December 18, 1886.

New York, December 13, 1886,

The Superstitions of Public Men

MR. CHIEF RULER-AND GENTLEMEN: I suppose that the superstition most
prevalent with public men, is the idea that they are of great importance
to the public. As a matter of fact, public men,—that is to say, men in
office,—reflect the average intelligence of the people, and no more.
A public man, to be successful, must not assert anything unless it is
exceedingly popular. And he need not deny anything unless everybody is
against it. Usually he has to be like the center of the earth,—draw all
things his way, without weighing anything himself.

One of the difficulties, or rather, one of the objections, to a
government republican in form, is this: Everybody imagines that he is
everybody's: master. And the result has been to make most of our public
men exceedingly conservative in the expression of their real opinions.
A man, wishing to be elected to an office, generally agrees with 'most
everybody he meets. If he meets a Prohibitionist, he says: "Of course I
am a temperance man. I am opposed to all excesses; my dear friend,
and no one knows better than myself the evils that have been caused by
intemperance." The next man happens to keep a saloon, and happens to
be quite influential in that part of the district, and the candidate
immediately says to him:—"The idea that these Prohibitionists can take
away the personal liberty of the citizen is simply monstrous!" In a
moment after, he is greeted by a Methodist, and he hastens to say, that
while he does not belong to that church himself, his wife does; that he
would gladly be a member, but does not feel that he is good enough. He
tells a Presbyterian that his grandfather was of that faith, and that he
was a most excellent man, and laments from the bottom of his heart that
he himself is not within that fold. A few moments after, on meeting a
skeptic, he declares, with the greatest fervor, that reason is the only
guide, and that he looks forward to the time when superstition will be
dethroned. In other words, the greatest superstition now entertained by
public men is, that hypocrisy is the royal road to success.

Of course, there are many other superstitions, and one is, that the
Democratic party has not outlived its usefulness. Another is, that the
Republican party should have power for what it has done, instead of what
it proposes to do.

In my judgment, these statesmen are mistaken. The people of the United
States, after all, admire intellectual honesty and have respect for
moral courage. The time has come for the old ideas and superstitions in
politics to be thrown away—not in phrase, not in pretence, but in fact;
and the time has come when a man can safely rely on the intelligence and
courage of the American people.

The most significant fact in this world to-day, is, that in nearly every
village under the American flag the school-house is larger than the
church. People are beginning to have a little confidence in intelligence
and in facts. Every public man and every private man, who is actuated
in his life by a belief in something that no one can prove,—that no one
can demonstrate,—is, to that extent, a superstitious man.

It may be that I go further than most of you, because if I have any
superstition, it is a superstition against superstition. It seems to
me that the first things for every man, whether in or out of office, to
believe in,—the first things to rely on, are demonstrated facts.
These are the corner stones,—these are the columns that nothing can
move,—these are the stars that no darkness can hide,—these are the
true and only foundations of belief.

Beyond the truths that have been demonstrated is the horizon of the
Probable, and in the world of the Probable every man has the right to
guess for himself. Beyond the region of the Probable is the Possible,
and beyond the Possible is the Impossible, and beyond the Impossible are
the religions of this world. My idea is this: Any man who acts in
view of the Improbable or of the Impossible—that is to say of the
Supernatural—is a superstitious man. Any man who believes that he can
add to the happiness of the Infinite, by depriving himself of innocent
pleasure, is superstitious. Any man who imagines that he can make some
God happy, by making himself miserable, is superstitious. Any one who
thinks he can gain happiness in another world, by raising hell with his
fellow-men in this, is simply superstitious. Any man who believes in a
Being of infinite wisdom and goodness, and yet belives that that
Being has peopled a world with failures, is superstitious. Any man who
believes that an infinitely wise and good God would take pains to make
a man, intending at the time that the man should be eternally damned, is
absurdly superstitious. In other words, he who believes that there is,
or that there can be, any other religious duty than to increase the
happiness of mankind, in this world, now and here, is superstitious.

I have known a great many private men who were not men of genius. I
have known some men of genius about whom it was kept private, and I have
known many public men, and my wonder increased the better I knew them,
that they occupied positions of trust and honor.

But, after all, it is the people's fault. They who demand hypocrisy
must be satisfied with mediocrity... Our public men will be better and
greater, and less superstitious, when the people become greater and
better and less superstitious. There is an old story, that we have all
heard, about Senator Nesmith. He was elected a Senator from Oregon. When
he had been in Washington a little while, one of the other Senators said
to him: "How did you feel when you found yourself sitting here in the
United States Senate?" He replied: "For the first two months, I just
sat and wondered how a damned fool like me ever, broke into the Senate.
Since that, I have done nothing but wonder how the other fools got
here."

To-day the need of our civilization is public men who have the courage
to speak as they think. We need a man for President who will not
publicly thank God for earthquakes. We need somebody with the courage to
say that all that happens in nature happens without design, and without
reference to man; somebody who will say that the men and women killed
are not murdered by supernatural beings, and that everything that
happens in nature, happens without malice and without mercy. We want
somebody who will have courage enough not to charge, an infinitely good
and wise Being with all the cruelties and agonies and sufferings of this
world. We want such men in public places,—men who will appeal to the
reason of their fellows, to the highest intelligence of the people; men
who will have courage enough, in this the nineteenth century, to agree
with the conclusions of science. We want some man who will not
pretend to believe, and who does not in fact believe, the stories that
Superstition has told to Credulity.

The most important thing in this world is the destruction of
superstition. Superstition interferes with the happiness of mankind.
Superstition is a terrible serpent, reaching in frightful coils from
heaven to earth and thrusting its poisoned fangs into the hearts of men.
While I live, I am going to do what little I can for the destruction of
this monster. Whatever may happen in another world—and I will take my
chances there,—I am opposed to superstition in this. And if, when I
reach that other world, it needs reforming, I shall do what little I can
there for the destruction of the false.

Let me tell you one thing more, and I am done. The only way to have
brave, honest, intelligent, conscientious public men, men without
superstition, is to do what we can to make the average citizen brave,
conscientious and intelligent. If you wish to see courage in the
presidential chair, conscience upon the bench, intelligence of the
highest order in Congress; if you expect public men to be great enough
to reflect honor upon the Republic, private citizens must have the
courage and the intelligence to elect, and to sustain, such men. I have
said, and I say it again, that never while I live will I vote for any
man to be President of the United States, no matter if he does belong
to my party, who has not won his spurs on some field of intellectual
conflict. We have had enough mediocrity, enough policy, enough
superstition, enough prejudice, enough provincialism, and the time has
come for the American citizen to say: "Hereafter I will be represented
by men who are worthy, not only of the great Republic, but of the
Nineteenth Century."
